Families Are Forever

I love my family from the bottom of my heart. They are all so cute and sweet. Every single one of us have a huge heart and would never hurt anyone intentionally. As I was thinking today with all the trials we have been given to us that addiction and abuse has touched my family the most. As we come together to heal I did not realize that actions could effect the ones we love the most. I myself have struggled with addiction. I have done stuff in the past I would never want my children to do. My husband still struggles every day with addiction.

      All of my children which includes my step-children. I only point out this because Weston and Trinity have been affected from two parents that struggle with  addiction. There mom who definitely has a good heart but has made some terrible decisions that left her unavailable to her children. My two children Alexis and Dakota also had a parent walk away from terrible decisions. To watch these young men and women walk on a path so different from their parents and make right choices because of what they have seen. They are not perfect by any means, they still don't do their chores when asked. But they are responsible, loving, caring and friendly and my prayer for them is to follow a different path.

      I had an answer to a prayer at one time in sacrament meeting. A still small voice said to me "She is my daughter you need to take care of her." At the time we were going to adopt a troubled 16 year old who's parents were dissolving their parental rights. I started to doubt what I heard and the voice became louder and said again louder. "She is my daughter and you need to take care of her." I looked around to see if anyone heard this. I finally realized that this was the answer to adopt Cassidy. Cassidy right before we adopted her ran away. I was so disappointed because the answer was so clear that day.

       I realized a little while later the answer wasn't about Cassidy at all it was about my beautiful step daughter Trinity. He has given me that wonderful spirit to take care of. This can be the most amazing gift that heavenly father could give us. The responsibility to teach his children to follow and love him. I have a testimony of the power of the atonement.  We can be forgiven of the stupid decisions we make as parents that affect the ones we love. It is that unconditional love a parent has for a child, heavenly father has for us. We can be FORGIVEN for what we have done. All we have to do is let him in.

Love,
K

Perspective

Perspective is a wonderful thing when one has it. When one does not have perspective it can be debilitating. Addiction takes away a persons perspective. For the addict their perspective is solely on the next high whatever that is. Relationships, work, family, the most important things in life take a back seat to the addition. Perspective on the most important thing in life is lost.

For the loved one of the addict perspective can also be lost. The loved one of the addict is often the one that takes care of the day to day needs of the family. This becomes a very heavy burden. The loved one can become lost so much in the day to day worries that they may lose site of their own value and worth. Dealing with an addict is hard work and doing this for a long period of time takes it's tole on a person. The addict can be ruthless to the loved ones self esteem. They will say or do almost anything to get their next high.

In my experience something that gave me back my perspective is friendship. Getting away from the addict and my responsibilities for a short time helped me to see the world in a new way with new perspective. It helped me to be able to go back to my responsibilities with a new vision. Talking with others, doing something for myself, taking a walk all helped me gain a new perspective.

The Wrong Way

I have to share this saying because it actually sums up what I feel after today.

"If everything is going your way, you are probably headed the wrong direction."

This even made me giggle because today I felt like I was going in reverse. Every thing I did or said had the total opposite affect. I am still not sure what happened but I do remember a family torn and words said that shouldn't have been said. How do you fix that? Is their kind words of forgiveness. This brings back memories of my father coming in to tuck us into to bed especially if we were in trouble. He could not go to bed mad. He would come in and pat us on the back and kiss our heads and say he was sorry. I want my children to know that I love them dearly and I am really sorry that they get pulled into grown up stuff. I am now going to kiss my kids on the head and tell them good night. Love You Padre.

Love K

Therapeutic Animals♥

Being one of the youth representatives is such a great honor.
Growing up with alcohol and drug abuse was and still is a really big challenge. I grew up in terrible conditions, trailer homes and houses that were barely referred to as houses. Whenever I needed someone to turn to or just a simple friend, I would turn to animals. All of my life I had at least one cat (yes I guess I could be a cat lady), they are some of the most compassionate animals and that thought has never left my mind. I also got unconditional love from dogs, horses and birds. It seems silly but animals are better than people. I believe that any one can see animals with a clear perspective and open mind. Animals are there for us always and are very therapeutic. So never say that you have nobody on your side that is there for you or loves you because there always is. I guess it's a plus they are very cute.☺♥

Doozer

Jimmy♥/T

Families are Forever Together

I love that thought Families can be Together Forever. These two families have been blessed to find each other under the same circumstances. We have come together to help others with the same problems that affect almost every family in way or another. Addiction and Abuse is rampant in these latter days. We can be strong and overcome these trials.We are taking the trials in our life to bless others with support that you may need in the darkest hours. Even though we may not be biologically related but, we are heavenly related.

Love Is The Key

     One thing I have learned from having a child with addiction is you cannot change them. They have to want to change themself. One of the very hardest things for a parent to do is watch their child hurt and go through pain. Addiction is hurt and pain. You can see the bad choices they are making but you cannot do anything about it. The one way I have found to get through the struggle is love. Love for your child. Even if they are not making good choices. One can always love the person and not their actions. Christ taught of love and how important it is in every aspect of life. By finding a way to love my daughter she was able to get help and I was able to get through it with her. Love is the key.
Love Lesa

Find Hope in our Savior Jesus Christ

Hope and Faith go together. I teach primary and we are always doing article of faiths. But this reminds me of the 13th Article of Faith.

Pearl of Great Price 1:13

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things

We believe all things.........Hmmmm, that could mean Faith. We Hope all things. Hope to me is the help of a savior that knows me by name and loves me. We have endured many things. We are here because we have endured trials that has pushed us to our limit. But when things seemed the darkest our big brother Jesus was there. If we seek after good things that is when we will feel at peace. So we need to seek after things that are good and make us stronger.

We are here Sisters and Brothers to help support each other through the journey in this life. We can Hope all things, We have faith in all things and will seek after good. Especially look for good in others that we may lift them up so we can all endure.

Love,
K

Slow Me Down

I came across a poem today that stuck out to me: 

"Slow me down, Lord, I am going too fast. 

I can't see my brother as he goes past; 

I miss a lot of good things day by day.  

Including the blessings you send my way.  

Slow me down, Lord, so I can see

More of the things that are good for me;

A lot less of me, so there'll be more of you,

Let more of heaven come shining through,

Let me help a brother when the going's rough

When folks work together, things aren't so tough;

Slow me down, Lord, so that I can talk

with more of your angels...slow me down to a walk."

My favorite part of this prayer is the phrase, "Slow me down, Lord so that I can talk with more of your angels." I look at these "angels" as the good people that i'm surrounded by everyday. The Lord has placed certain people in our lives so we can grow to be stronger and better people. All we have to do is open our eyes and slow down and try to find the good in everyone. Every person can teach us a lesson, good or bad. I have met people that I know are put in my life at a specific time for a reason. I am so grateful for the friends that I have met recently that have saved me. I am going to try to be more grateful for the blessings that I receive each day and for the strength I have to move on. With the Lords help, we can overcome anything. 

Love, Al 

"Hope for New Beginnings"

Today what has weighed heavy on my heart is the hope of a new beginning. What an amazing thing the gospel is and how forgiving our dear heavenly father is. With a humble and pure heart you can be forgiven of many things no matter how big or trivial you may think it is. We are given many trials on this earth to make us stronger. When deep in the middle of a trial I always think "Why Me". I think everyone has thought of that. But, if the whole world put their problems in the middle and we could take any problems that we wanted we probably would take our own right back. We now know what to do and how we can maybe help others along the way.

Hope: Come to believe that the power of god can restore us to complete spiritual and emotional health.

President Uchtdorf taught "The adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward. Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness. Its absence - when this desire of our heart is delayed - can make "The heart sick."

May we find hope together and realize we are not alone. This is a new beginning this day forward.

Love K

Answered Prayers

Have you ever wondered if he is hearing your prayers or your just not getting the answers. Over the years I have pondered this a lot. Sometimes I would just give up and not actually pray all the way. I guess out of laziness. When I needed help the most I would plead for Mercy. I didn't ever quite understand that the choices of others would effect my world so much. It would come out in anger, For some reason I had justified it and thought I had every right to be angry. I would say things that were horrible and justify it was okay because their actions and choices I could not control. I once was sent to anger management by my bishop. I kind of chuckled, because, if you knew me I really was a softy. But there was two people in my life that could make me angry. Once I was at the doctors office with my husband to adjust his medication. I teased the doctor and said maybe if you medicated me his problems would go away. She looked at me and said when is your appointment. I followed up with her and she helped me. I am not going to say it was magic but, I am going to say it was an answer to my prayers. It was an answer that I didn't even think of, it just happened. I am not an angry person anymore and my head is not jumbled all the time. I actually listen to people when they talk (well for the most part). My kids still think I have selective hearing. It may not be the solution you were looking for, but, it may just surprise you. He hears, he is listening, and he cares for you more than anything and only wants us to be happy. We just need to search and most of all listen with a pure and humble heart and an open mind.  Love K

How living a christ like life can help ease the pain.

While my basic motherly instinct is to fix everything and control others that are in "my bubble". At least that is what I refer to people who affect my life. I was for many years trying to correct or control the others around. I thought I was normal and had the right to do so. When my mother while on her mission sent me a statement from a prophet. It goes something like this......If you are trying to control another person and make them do or act a different way. We are taking away their free agency and that is Satan's plan." As I pondered this and practiced really really had not to be controlling. It worked to a certain degree. It took a lot of the guilt off of me and realized they needed to choose. Not always did they choose the way I would do but, it still was their choice.

Practice makes progress..........

Drug and Alcohol Addiction

My family has been touched by addiction in many ways. I am a recovering addict of drugs. My first husband was cross addicted to drugs and alcohol. After years of physical and emotional abuse I decided to break the cycle. I almost lost my life that day. A woman told me once "you just taught your son he can hit and your daughter that she could be hit." The thought mortified me and I had to fix this right away. My oldest became an addict and was in an IOP (Intensive outpatient program) for three years. He was in the court system most of his teen years. My husband now is a recovering alcoholic that is disabled by chronic pain. The struggle still remains with prescription drugs and the knowledge of having to live his life with pain. We are learning to just manage it with drugs.

The Food Addict

The addict can come in many shapes and sizes. My mother is a faithful religious wonderful woman who was overweight most of her life. She got help when a doctor sent her to Food Addicts Anonymous. She was on a couple mission in Washington DC for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Being on oxygen, pills and other stuff to keep her healthy. After going to meetings and having a sponsor she was able to loose 60 pounds. She was taken off of all the stuff the doctors had her on. She then came back home after fulfilling her mission. With no Food addicts meetings in the state of Utah she began her own meetings. With the faith of a father in heaven that heard her prayers found the strength to overcome the natural man.

Here we are Sisters in Heaven with the support of a bigger family. Please share your stories and we can support you from someone that has been through it and still struggles. This is for Families of addiction and abuse. Everyone is close to someone who is an addict. It will effect you to your core. We gather today to rely upon a very forgiving heavenly father and a wonderful gospel. He hears your cries and can ease your pain. We just need faith and a lot of prayers.